A midlife crisis is a psycho-emotional state of a person, usually associated with a reassessment of existing life experience and the search for a new meaning. It occurs after 30 years and depends on the individual characteristics of the person. Candidate of Psychological Sciences, developer of the theory of adaptive intelligence told Pravda.Ru readers how to recognize and survive this period Valery Gut.
Midlife Crisis: Causes
There are several reasons why we experience this condition. We grow up in a family, where our basic settings are laid, the values with which we enter the adult world. Based on this accumulated experience, we enter the institute, get the first and then, maybe, the next job. When some basic knowledge is exhausted, discrepancies with new data about this world grow, a crisis of rethinking arises. It can be recognized by several signs.
- Dissatisfaction with current life. A person feels that something is wrong in his life. He begins to wonder if he has achieved everything he wanted in life. Can acutely feel that time is running out and old age is approaching.
- Frustration in relationships, work or other areas of life. A person may lose interest in their usual activities and hobbies. He may suddenly realize that he devotes his whole life to work that does not bring pleasure. Often during this period, marriages are destroyed, because people are reconsidering their relationships, they want to change them.
- Doubts about yourself and your accomplishments. Often a person compares himself with someone of his peers who have achieved greater success. Self-doubt appears.
- The desire to change something, but a lack of understanding of what and how to do. During this period, a person begins to look for new ways of expressing himself, radically changing outwardly, learning something new, traveling.
- Striving for introspection. A person begins to listen to himself, his desires, to wonder what is really important to him.
A crisis is often accompanied by negative emotions, anxiety, apathy, and a sense of hopelessness. After all, the old settings no longer work or do not help in full.
In order to get rid of fear and other symptoms of a crisis, people often “throw into all the bad”: they drastically change their image, work, partner, move. To escape from experiences, they go headlong into work. But this only aggravates the condition, because in this way people are trying to deal with the effect, and not with the cause of the problem.
You should not run away from the crisis: at this moment it is important to revise those areas of life in which there are inconsistencies. It is of great importance what experience a person has gained by approaching this stage. Has he learned to cope with problems, to solve complex problems. During this period, new opportunities open up for rethinking one’s life, helping to let in what is important, and reconfigure the conceptual apparatus, reconsider values.
Having overcome overcomprehension, you can get out of the crisis as a renewed person.
Midlife crisis: how to survive
We are born with a certain inner potential, different talents and abilities. If we manage to reveal them, find our purpose and realize it, then this makes us happy and successful. There are several tips that you can follow to minimize losses during this period.
- Recognize the signals of the crisis in time and not try to drown them out with external attributes. To determine if we are on the right path or not, we need to ask ourselves the question every day: is this right for me? Only an honest answer to it will help to discard the unnecessary and not waste time and energy on this.
- Take care of yourself on all levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. James Altucher talks about this in the book “Choose Yourself!” Only the health of all four “bodies” can become a solid foundation for building a successful and happy personality.
- Exercise. A healthy lifestyle must be made habitual for oneself – the body reaches the peak of its resources by about 25 years, after which it begins to use them. The rate of aging directly depends on how much we sleep, do physical activity, what we eat. Physical health is an important factor in coping with the stress that people experience during a midlife crisis.
- Do what gives pleasure: read only those books that you like and encourage you to enjoy life; go only to those events that truly entertain or delight; communicate only with positive people who succeed in life themselves and want us to be on top too. Communication with people who share our interests and values inspires us and helps us to reveal our abilities, gives confidence and makes us happier.
- Return to childhood dreams. To find your purpose, you need to search. Try new things and listen to your own feelings. The psyche can help in this process: suggest repetitive pictures-images that suddenly pop up in our minds, a surge of energy and joy at the moment of doing some kind of activity. You can seek help from career counselors or those who are familiar with the question of what they consider our “superpower”.
It is important to remember that many people face a crisis and successfully overcome it. At any age, you can rethink your values, discover new talents, set new goals for life and become happy again.
